Missing: Intelligent spirited passionate girl, replaced with robotic, dusty grey changeling

call ***-***-**** if you have any info regarding this case.

8/14/04
a brain
doused
like fire
under waters
dampen down
dampen down
the roaring flames of intellect
of passion
soaring, touching, excelling
my mind
gone
shadow babysitter
to hold its place
until someday
may it return
we hope
we hope
Is this my own self-pity. A cyber journal with no readership. The perfect place to put my dumbed dismay at what I feel I've lost. God forbid my own journals stay in this home, next to me a reminder of my constant fear that I will live as a shadow of my former self for the rest of my life. Am I a different woman now? a different person inhabiting the same body. My mental pathways impaired, when I feel like this I wonder, how can I ever possibly achieve that which once was as easy as breathing.
On the days when the fatigue is not eating me alive screaming, I sense hope for a return of that bright talented young woman. I feel impending release from this illness. But on days like this, I get pessimistic and wonder if this is howI'm destined to live my days. Given sweet gifts, though briefly, and forced to live pale next to them after they have slipped away. I am too young to feel this old.